It makes complete sense she would just want you to sink into oblivion. Having you succeed and do fine without her is a reminder of a few things that's goes directly against what's driving her actions. That she knows who you are, that you will never change and that you are at fault for everything thats wrong in her life.
One of those remimders being you can live completely fine without her which shows your not dependent on her. Another is that because you can survive without her it's showing what les to the breakdown od thr M isnt jsut about you, but her also. If you were all of the problem when you separate she would be happy and you miserable. Oh the irony when things end up being the opposite and that translates to anger for her. Anger pores out anytime something reminds them they are at fault and maybe they f'ed up. I remember it well with my W months ago, like she was jealous I was not only surviving but thriving without her. She resisted the insane spew as she knew it only made her look worse because I didn't react at all to it. I could still feel the anger bleed out of every pore in her body at times.
You're doing well, just keep living your life and don't react to her testing or spew like she expects you to. Coming from a place of strength and love showing her she's leaving the man only a fool would leave.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Fog. I think my W is just reaching the beginning of the point your W ended up at. Still. That's not my issue. She's got herself caught is an unending trap and it's not me that made that situation. In do like your post. Huddy. ^^ that makes sense to me.
Edit - Start a new thread - Cadet
Last edited by Cadet; 11/30/1508:32 PM.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Hi Huddy. Is the flat furnished ? How does it suit your journey to work ? What's the plan re kids ? Are you getting enough time with them ? Have you and W discussed Xmas and if so what's the plan ?
You have a new life ahead and while it stinks re the M and especially for your kids you now can concentrate on what's going toake you happy in the future
You are an example to any newcomers on here because you've gone from complete wreck to a man only a fool would leave What does that make your W !!!
Wishing you all the best in your new place and I sincerely hope W gets to see that her unhappiness is all her own
Thanks for all the kind words. Gonna be wifi less for the next few days, so please forgive me if I don't get around to your post.
W finally pulled the 'for the kids' card this morning. Long story short, she wanted me to do something on my moving day tomorrow, not a big job, but I've got lots on. When I said I would try to help, if I had time, I got this whole speech about being uncaring and it would hurt the kids if I didn't do it etc. That's a low blow as I have done everything to avoid hurting the kids.
So, now I've come home, and she's making a big play of taking the bed apart. I'm looking after the kids and she's huffing. She hasn't asked for assistance, so I'm not going to offer.
Hard times folks.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Wifi less? I'd rather be wife less than wifi less.
Sorry, that was in poor taste but I couldn't resist.
If she asks I take it you will help with the bed? It's ok not to do it without her asking but it's not ok to be a jerk if she asks and you say no. Fine line dude.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Huddy. Your strength is so clear to see. I was one of those who pushed you to stop focusing on W and you went above and beyond.
That said , it's clear to me that she has yet to feel the full force of her choices. That's about to change and 1 week , 1 month or 2 years down the line Your W will see what she has lost Its out of your control but it will happen. It might not change anything but it might
Keep on your path and the outcome will be positive for Huudy , regardless of W
It gonna get tough buddy but you have the tools to deal with whatever the future brings.
Last edited by Cadet; 12/02/1507:48 PM. Reason: Link
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
