You have attempted to shoulder the blame for the entire situation, even though it can't completely be your burden to carry. This was your attempt from removing pain from others. You have read, studied, analyzed, diagnosed... tried anything possible to change the outcome. Because that is who you are. You gave it everything you could have without receiving support from her. At your core, and as a loving former-partner and parent, you firmly believe you can fix anything. But this break is not yours to fix. You had grand optimistic ideas about your family's forever after.
You should feel proud of the effort you put in. The growth that came from it... your relationship with the kids, your physical fitness, your new business, and your growth. It is true you understand the practices but struggle to put them into place. However understand that you don't have that opportunity.
You are loving, compassionate, hard working, optimistic, caring. You are a visionary who is successful. However the definition of that word is now changing for you, which is your greatest area of growth. You constantly measure yourself against standards hard to achieve. Don't be so hard on yourself. Understand that all have weak areas and those areas give you room for improvement. Regret exists for the outcome, but you should not regret the effort you put in. Learn to forgive completely, but not forget.
She left a family willing to work to fix any and all items. Only to be with someone else immediately after. She sees her own children less than 50% of the time. She is awaiting major surgery. She does not love or respect you. She is rewriting her story and her future. You must let her. She will feel pain for the loss of her family in her own time and way. You must let her. This is not your nature, but out of love and respect you must let her pave her path and walk it. Letting go is particularly hard for you because of your character, attachment, circumstances and your loyalty to your kids and idea of family. This is an area that you must now grow. You have been loyal past the end.
When people meet you, they are intrigued by your current work in aerospace, by your pictures and experiences with lovely, polite, kind and caring children, by your future prospects on business, and grandiose ideas on future. You are almost 33. Your life is yours to live. You are loved. You are strong. You have a lot left to give. You were built for fun. Now have it.
Live your life. M
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
