I really am in the midst of it all. It is the eve of my Ws elective surgery and my hostile ILs will be staying in my house. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared - terrified, actually. They are really awful people and have already stooped very low.
I hope I can keep my cool, and not let them bait me. I am very anxious and have a lot of fears - some real (based on past experiences) some imagined. I don't know if it is therapeutic to talk about or dwell on them but here are some of my fears:
1) They usually buy things that I don't approve of or are not good/healthy for the kids. 2) They buy things for the kids that I was going to buy for them - to steal my thunder. 3) They may expose my children to age-inappropriate things. 4) They may encourage the kids to transgress Jewish customs/Sabbath in our home. 5) They may invite OM to our house. The last time they visited there were a bunch of new flowers in our flower bed. Ostensibly planted by my 79 year old FIL, and not by the OM - who is a landscaper- give me a break!! 6) They may be delivering documents to Ws L that will condemn my case. My W is now claiming that a gift we received from my FIL for the down payment on our house was, in fact, a loan. I am fearful they will produce a document - real or forged - and they will use this to get the house for free.
I know some of these things may seem trivial to some of you (thank goodness the forum is anonymous), and were they to come to fruition, some of these are merely ego-damaging or emasculating. But others can be really damaging. I am afraid to assert myself to them because they may be recording everything. Then they can have Ws pit bull L spin it to assault my character.
I am planning to not talk to ILs at all. I am also planning to take the kids out for Sabbath meals so as to lessen their exposure. The kids know that our relationship has soured and one of them has even vowed to help me if they see me losing control. We have an action plan - he will take me out of the house for a walk.
A short prayer: May it be thy will, Lord, our G-d, that I pass the next week in peace, with complete peace of mind that you are in control, and that my children are not adversely influenced by the forces that conspire against me. Also, please grant me the patience I need to pass the next week with a smile on my face.
