The Next Day...

[mahhhty]

Thanks V.

I agree that in my R I have witnessed some of what you wrote but not all. I do not regret marrying XW. I still feel that was the right decision. She suffered during our 2nd Child's Birth. On top of that I grew distant during a time she needed me (due to promotion and work). Then her kidney on top of that. When I did come home I wore her down, was critical, and she planned her exit. I believe that life caught us off guard. My issues with the process is at no point did we have conversations on how to fix it. We spent thousands (or I did) on how to separate but not how to join. She now chooses work over family and the OM is a coworker that she formerly degraded and disliked. Friends have also told me that he is a smoker. As for her social media it is more reminiscent of a college student's than a mother's.

I had a long conversation with some friends about their feelings with the D. All of my friends liked her a lot and some of them were friends with her as well. They are all feeling the loss. A good friend sent me this text... "She has one person in mind and that is herself, before u and before her own kids. She never gave u a chance so it's only fair that u stop trying to give her one. I know easier said than done, but u need to continue telling yourself that her bullshit and lack of respect and love for u is not worth it. Your kids will understand in time, whether it's two years from now or 10. At the end of the day the only person who should be looking at themselves bad in the mirror is her."

I'm confident my kids deserve more. What I need to continue doing is giving them the best I have to offer and remove her from my thoughts day by day. I do seem to be stuck, it is only when I look back do I see the progress from where I came.