I have however made it very clear to W that there would be no circumstance in which our kids or our home would be in contact with anyone outside of our family.
How will you control who comes in contact with your kids? If they are with their mother and she decides for someone to be in contact with them, what will you do?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
