Yesterday W texted me in the morning about cleaning up for the babysitter will be looking after the kids tonight. Then she emailed me pictures of my S6 getting an award at school. Then emailed me again just before I finished work. Some how my work called my W about the promotion I applied for to schedule an interview. I had not told her about applying. Well now she knows.
I wait till I am home now before replying back to anything that is not an emergency.
But that is the most in one day she has tried to contact me in a while.
W gets home last night and complains that the house is a mess, and questions what I have been doing. I said to her that I was cleaning but with getting diner ready and doing kids home work and watching the kids I could only clean so much. I asked her to put the kids to bed and I would clean. She starts to spew and spew, she was tired and worked 10 hours and all she wants to do is sit down. So she ignores my offer and begrudgingly starts cleaning and our oldest S6 pick up on this anger and he has a fit and I send him to his room crying for acting out.
Why does she feel that she can tell me what to do and then treat me like that when I don't do it to her satisfaction? The answer I have gotten before is that I let her treat me that way.
Another situation where I could have validated but didn't. I just don't think of it at the time. I just think of defending myself. I need to think Validate and enforce boundaries.
This morning W was up before I left, I did the normal good byes to the kids. Then I just say good bye guys, as my W was in another room she said it back.
We have been talking more to each other but about oldest S6 birthday coming up. We are both hosting it and ten kids will be there. W has invited his cousins and offered to them to sleep over at our house so they could go. I am surprised she offered that because that would bring her back into the MBR with me. At least while they visited. I will have to see if they will take the offer.
I am ordering the child's Christmas party tickets and I asked my W to let me know by Friday that past if she wanted to go then I would get her a ticket, didn't hear back so I guess no ticket for her.
One day at a time
Me late 30's W mid 30's T 15, M 10 S4, S7 ILYBNILWY June 2015 In house S July 2015 W rings off Oct 2015 My ring off Feb 2015 Separate houses June 2016
