V is for Vanilla 25

[Vanilla]

Don't leave. Your voice is of soft kindness and encouragemt. Balances the newcomer after reading a post from me, don't ya think?

Seriously V, I have been in those shoes of feeling attacked, and it is horrible. Maybe in my dogmatic way, I have been guilty of making someone feel what you experienced from GB's post. I hope not, and my goal is never to hurt anyone or make them feel under attack.......but I know I speak frankly and it can be interpreted, (and has been) as harsh. I am not defending him, just saying that Perhaps I come across in similar style at times. Then I read one of V's post and tell myself to simmer down.

I hope you'll stay with us b/c of so many people you soothe......nstead of leaving b/c of one who didn't particularly like what you had to say.

((hugs))

Thank you Sandi, my IC says that as we get more spiritual and stronger that way, more challenges will come. I just trust that my reacations haven't caused upset to others. It isn't great not my most shining moment.

I spent some time reading around and found another site where there was a great deal of aggression and an open attack on Mrbond. It shocked me greatly, if he is around I would value his opinion on it. Ignore, fight back or what?

My stance is NC. I like the philosophy here, I like the respect, kindness and intelligent comment. The philosophy suits me and I do not believe in outing As to OW or OM partner in most cases it isn't going to repair ourselves or our M.

I have had disagreements here before with posters of strong views particularly on abuse issues, and I can handle it and often modify my view. All out drama makes me defensive in the flight fright or freeze scenario, I am a mixed bag. In this case fright which isn't great.

I have life lessons in this to learn, some garbage to clear and boundaries to set and stand by.

Sandi, I admire your stance, you are clear and precise in your this kind of situation. I am often far too softly spoken but I believe in working on self first and foremost. To be strong we often have to face our weakness, to move forward we often have to be still.

R can mend and M renew, waywards can reflect and grow too, in time. Often the best work is in detachment and letting go. Our hardest work is to do the internal development necessary to grow and become. I see it often remarkable progress in time of need.

Perhaps Newbies need a stronger stance than mine, although as you say a supportive voice eases the strain and sense of being alone.

Bless you Sandi, and I include your H and D is my votive.

V