Maybe that is my biggest deal right now, I am reluctant to drop the rope and let it go for good.
The fact that he still cares so much for me and is living a messy life right now, makes it harder. In the same time, it is what he is choosing for himself and is not trying to hard to get our R in another level.
He even said to me that things are difficult, but that is why we are still talking. Sometimes, I wonder what kind of alien took him, because he is so unreal.
I need to search into my heart, what is my direction in all of this. I am certain of one thing, that I can't continue in this path that I find myself right now. I am not happy with myself or my life.
