Hi Pink, Our sich are quite similar from what I have read in this thread. The ex could never make up his mind if the D was a real D. One minute he would panic when I said that I would emotionally cut myself off from him totally. The other minute he would tell me that he still loved the OW.
A big diff in our sich is that the ex is still involved with the TP and he has always insisted that everything is my fault and he doesn't love me.
Because of our kid and because we live in the same neighbourhood, it was very diff to make a clean break.
But I have decided that if he is really serious about any reconciliation, he really will have to work harder. As much I will like to give my kid a complete family, all this dithering has been very unhealthy for us.
I know how painful it must be for you because I went through and am still going through the pain. The decision to drop the rope has been a very painful one for me but I realised that I do not have the strength to stand for the marriage.
Please don't be so hard on yourself because I know how difficult it is to cut yourself off emotionally from someone that you care for.
Even now, I find myself praying that the ex will be safe on the roads when it rains heavily. Yet, in the very next breath, I will find myself thinking that it will be good to claim some insurance money from the ex to help with my purchase of a new place, because hey, he's not much of a use now to me.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
