Hello my dearest friends, thank you for your support.
RD - I honestly do not know if I love my XH. It is very confusing now. I don't know if I love him or if I am very hurt and still keep the idea of a family I do not have anymore.
Plus, there is you in the middle of all this. It seems silly and just some joke, but it is also the idea that, what if? Maybe for some folks it is the impossible and it becomes just a silly play, but I am very adventurous and nothing is impossible for me until I prove it contrary.
But right now, I do not know.
Pho - TBH, my biggest problem right now is that I do not know what exactly I want. I am pretty lost. At some point I did want my XH back, now I do not know. I am afraid to let go and I am afraid to fight for.
Sotto - I totally get the early divorce. I do not regret what I did for obvious financial reasons. I am sure I did the right thing then, XH had this idea of giving me some money and I would sign some crazy D deal for him and it would all be good. So, I got my L and did what I need to do to protect the kids and myself.
But sometimes I think about this. Maybe we could be in some other kind of talking right now, who knows? XH still thinks that our D is just a piece of paper.
About boundaries or whatever, it does not work with my XH, he has his way into my life. We have kids, and also a constant contact. He is always around unless he is traveling for business. And he used to travel to Latin America, and now he travels only inside USA, what means short trips.
Cherry - XH says that he loves me to this day. And I think he does. But he did not move a finger to work on our R, so I rather ignore what he says. Like we say here, believe zero in what they say and half what they do.
