Now what?

[melweb]

You pose some good questions, and I honestly do not know how to answer them. I know he was very depressed during and before that period 8 years ago. We had just moved for his new job (he quit the old one because it was too stressful, and the same with the one before that.) He was also drinking quite a bit during this period, but quit when he realized it was becoming a problem. He wasn't doing much with the kids or me, and was sometimes verbally abusive. That was when I couldn't take it anymore either and almost walked. I was packing bags and he came and said he was sorry and he knew he wasn't being a great dad or husband. Well--there-- I guess I can answer that question.
But I never blamed him, though you're right ,he probably blamed himself. And I know he is pretty upset that he is 48 years old, we have a mountain of debt, no savings and no retirement.
I wasn't trying to toot my own horn. I know that a marriage is not always wine and roses. I am not perfect, and I can see how I contributed to this mess.
Truly, these changes in me are truly FOR me, and my kids. I did not like the person I was becoming. I have never been Angry Mom. So I will continue working on me.