I also mentioned the NC letter, but pastor and wife thought that I should also write a letter, but since I don't have anyone to send it to, that I would be expecting too much of my wife.
Well, I am very disappointed in the Pastor.
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Counselor/pastor had us take a marriage assessment. We did an activity with him on Sunday night, and we were to comment on how our spouse reacted during the activity, and give ratings. According to our aggregate score, the marriage is very likely salvageable. It wasn't a Christian assessment, more based on current trends in marriage counseling circles. So... the wife says 'she hates to admit' that it is encouraging, but is still confused and, from what I can tell, unwilling to drop the EA with the OM via phone.
I cannot understand why the Pastor is using secular assessments in this situation. She has said she is not willing to end the EA. I think I saw earlier where she wasn't willing to save the M.....so what is the point in all this counseling and assessments? If she is not going to be required to do anything she doesn't like......what's the point?
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She's got training in Chicago in two weeks, where her likelihood to meet up with him is very high. She's staying overnight, and he knows where she's staying.
Do you really think she'll spend the night in the same city and not be with him?
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How long is too long to wait for her to 'figure it out'?
She's had no need to figure anything out. She's got it made. She has all the advantages of home & marriage, plus she gets to play single too.
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Do I let her blow it by meeting up with OM, and then drop the hammer?
Why wait until she meets up with him? And, what does dropping the hammer mean? Blowing up and getting angry at her? Telling her off? What good will it do?
A WW learns the hard way. She has to be faced with loss and reality, due to her waywardness. She has to be faced with consequences. What consequences has she had? You even started sleeping in the bed with her. What has she lost, b/c of the A?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
