I know it happens, but It just surprises me that after 21 years of marriage, hard work and struggles, that someone can just "be done", without even trying. He might think he has, and I am sure he would tell you he has, but I must have missed it. I was pretty caught up in my own anger, and seemingly crappy life.
Mel - heres how I like to think about it: Imagine a lake of water freezing from the bottom up. Over many many years, the lake is slowly freezing wihtout you noticing. Then, one day, the top layer freezes. Its not until this point that you really notice whats going on. But by now, the entire thing is a completely solid block of ice. You arent going to thaw that out with a couple of weeks of "good behavior" and "positive ch
My point is that while it appears sudden to you - you just noticed that the top of the lake froze! - this has been building for a long time within him. Like you said, you didnt notice it, because you were otherwise preoccupied.
So keep on going. Without expectation that he will change anything.
