So my wife and I are texting this morning, and how she feels worse everday knowing how hurt i am and such. Anyways, she sends me this: "It was an isolated incident. I am not looking for something else nor was I. I made a bad mistake and I am paying the consequence, but it [censored]. I want to make it better but you don't need to be better. You are better, stop trying to be better. Stop putting so much pressure on both of us. I need you to be confident in yourself. I need you to know that you are perfectly fine just the way you are. Whatever improvements you think you need should be for your own sake, not mine. Quiet confidence, not cockiness, that's a great turn on. I am full of contradictions, that's who I am. I need you when I feel lousy sometimes, and sometimes I need room to breath. I need to conquer things on my own and I need you to help me sometimes. I need adventure and I need routine. I need family and I need friends. I need to be home but I need to explore the world. I never did I guess. I need good times together and I need good times apart and that doesn't mean or say anything about us or you. Can you understand that?"
I see some of it as good, but I also see basically "I only want you when I want you" is it me? Someone please let me know if I'm just reading into this.
She said to me I feel horrible about what I did to you. I said what did you think I was going to feeL? How did you this was going be good for us? WTF did you expect me to just say .. oh no worries.. I get it. I asked her "are you upset you got caught or upset that it happened" she said that it happened. Ugh.. wtf how did I get into this situataion LOL.. I'm telling you I'd rather get run over by a car, beat up by 20 guys with bats THAN THIS SH*T
