Weeding and watering

[mustardseed]

Mustard seed,

One of the things i do not understand is how is OWs relationship with your husband and as the teacher of your daughter acceptable on a professional level? Have you discussed this with your attorney? With the school? If this came out publicly it would not look good for a private school. In fact, this might even be your leverage if you had a lawyer so inclined. No one wants the embarrassment of a subpoena.

I think she has a bit too much power right now and she should not. I think they are intimidating you because they know that you really have a lot of power that you have yet to use. I don't think you should say anything, as vanilla says keep your cards close. But perhaps consulting with a more aggressive attorney as well? They are bullies and we all know that fighting the bully back works better then waiting for the teachers to make nice. It's the only way they can respect you and a 180 from a more passive approach.

Remember it's easy to climb back up when you have nothing left to lose.

Admittedly I myself am somewhat vengeful and I am not an enlightened person, (I am mostly cicilian after all ) so please I know what I would do at this point is probably not best advised. But could this help your custody case?

Again this is just an opinion and thought of one poster that is sick of seeing people being taken advantage of. I don't know if what I say would work in your favor. Just something to mull over and consult with a expensive attorney about.

I believe things are really bad for them at work right now. There are two very distinct camps (and I'm sure a a large enough group of people who really don't care). I have no idea what the powers that be are thinking of the situation, but I am sure they are trying to figure out how to best handle it with the least amount of attention drawn. I am hoping that whatever happens is in the best interest of the kids--mine a well as hers.

I am absolutely certain that her intense involvement in my life at this stage is damage control. Make me look bad to take the attention off of them. To validate their inappropriate relationship. As long as I keep my mouth shut I will continue to be the one on top. The better I come across the worse things are for them. I'm trying to keep that in mind to avoid reacting.

I am trying to keep all of my socializing as far away from the scene as possible, not that I am doing anything wrong, but I would prefer that he know nothing about my comings and goings. The gossip is insurmountable--I can't even believe my life is such a topic of conversation. We live a "small town" type of life in an area of the country where it is hard to believe that exists. I have a relative who owns a local business that is frequented by many people tied to H's employment and my old employment. Apparently we are a topic of conversation throughout the community.

As far as the legal end of things--I trust my attorney. I don't want H to lose his job because I don't think that is in anyone's best interest at this point. We don't have much financially, so any gain I might get by pushing the infidelity issue will be cancelled out by the expense it will cost to make it happen. My main goal right now is to be able to support myself and my kids-and that he contributes fairly. Of course right now fair feels unfair--because I think the person who bails on a marriage should be forced to give up everything that was attained during the time they were married--but that isn't how the world works anymore. I just have to trust that in the end all will be good.