Great post Sotto. Barry, please listen to all of this and take it to heart. It think it would be good for you to come back to the forums and post more regularly. There's still a great deal of learning and growth you can do and I still think your M can be busted. At the very least there is you to be saved still. I've been through so much this year and learned so much about myself and I hope you can do the same. Forgiveness is hard when the WAS is still damaging us and add in the nice guy/Codependent qualities we both share and it makes it even harder. What she's doing isn't about you. It was the hardest thing I had to accept in all of this but your W didn't set out if betray you, even if she did. I understand the pain she's caused you but it is in no way a reflection of who you are or who you can be in life. You decide those things, only you. Who are you Barry? Are you a man who lives with whatever he was given in life and is happy, or one that allows an event (that's not about you) to destroy you?
It will be hard and take time to move through this pain to grow but I believe in you. You can do this Barry.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
