in house S (5)

[vise82]

Hey Flight,

Yes emotion, it comes and goes, I have learned on this forum to not base decisions on emotion or feelings because they change.

So I had a big blow out with my W as I wrote about previous. After I felt better, more connected because of getting some things out in the open. The mood was calmer the days following. We are more relaxed and we interacted with the kids and us like it was normal, no arguing and everything seemed to fit. The only couple of hiccups were I seen the neighbor messaged my W and that got to me but I let it go and she is leaving dirty dishes for me to clean. We took the kids to places together we ate meals together and W offered to go to my GAL soccer with the kids. Things were like what they used to be not great but we were functioning well together like a team.

But that all ends when the kids are in bed.

We go to our separate areas in the house and that is it till the morning. Partly that is my choice and me DBing. Its weekends like this that I would like to make a move to connect. DB is to wait till my W makes the move. I will continue with what I am doing.

It hurt me when my W during the argument said that we have not been separated all these months. It felt like all the pain I was feeling she did not feel it. its like she is saying all the lonely nights didn't happen.

I also think she is thinking of having the kids full time, that is why she does not want to write up a S agreement. Why else would she be looking at house in a different city? This has almost made me want to break my silence on the subject. Does she really think that I will just give up on my kids. The only way I can see is 50 / 50. One week her one week mine. That would require us to live in the same city, with at least one of us in the school zone. Time will tell what she wants.