Focus on living life as it is in this moment

[focus22]

Yes, you're right about legal separation. If it's to protect yourself, then go ahead. Remember though, it is legally binding and will be operated through the courts and if you want to get any of it changed, you have to involve them in the whole process. Obviously, I don't know your financial situation, but if you can't get legal aid, it's gonna cost.

The house is easier. If it's in your name, and you have no tenancy agreement with your H, you can ask him to stay away (if he ever decided to come over) but I think in a D, you would be required to split the assets 50/50.

NDY is really good on the law side of things. Hopefully he'll pop in and have a word!

Yup, it's all these kinds of things I need to find out about.

I'm appreciating more and more the importance of protecting myself (in all sorts of ways). And I'm definitely starting to feel the benefits too. I guess that's what boundaries are for? Feeling safe, feeling strong, feeling like it gives you space to think and process things for yourself.

Actually, NDY is an excellent guy. He helped me get up from the gutter when I'd been kicked so often. I noticed you're quite 'new' in to this. Don't give up. You really have to start pulling yourself out of the mire in order to help your wounds heal. I'm guessing you've got all the usual things; weight loss, lack of sleep, lack of appetite, emotional mess - the first thing to sort out is the emotional one. You really have to get a handle on getting up, getting dressed and smiling to yourself. I guess you've maybe felt suicidal - don't panic, in six months time (ahem....that'll be me then!) you'll look back and realise that won't help.

Yeah, lost tons of weight. Not really interested in eating and can't really sleep either.

On the plus side, I'm doing a great job of getting up and showing up I used to be a bit of a clothes horse and am really starting to enjoy that side of life again. I don't mean in a 'buying loads of stuff' kind of way, or a 'mutton dressed as lamb' sort of way. Neither of those are really my style. More in an 'enjoying experimenting with what I already have' kind of way, and making sure I always look my best. Been getting loads of compliments too (from both men and women).

I'm also getting to grips with GAL and have had some really positive experiences with what I've been doing for myself on that front as well.

I need to start dealing with physical health a bit more though. I'm really pretty healthy anyway, but it would be good to up my game on that front and learn to embrace and enjoy that. So that's next on the list for me.

It's a big learning curve, but YOU WILL be OK.

Thank you.

I have a suspicion that in spite of everything, I am doing better than my H at the moment.

Hope things are going well for you today.