Zues, I understand feeling frusturated by the world being an irrational and self serving place. (I actually completely changed my studies and career aspirations early on because of this realization ) It's like discovering that your favorite politician who you donated tons of time and money to is just like all the rest. I have to say that thank goodness there are people that are like you and do not take the easy way out. I know you have high expectations of yourself and you continue to meet them. Most of us are not like that and often choose the path of least resistance. You serve as a great model for your children.
When it comes to lust, I do not think that is a problem for most women. We expect and enjoy that in men. (Why do you think we are all out there spending tons of money on over the knee boots? ). We certainly do not think it is gross and I know plenty of women that like porn and strip clubs as well. The female image is attractive plain and simple and there is no shame in being turned on by these images. We just don't want to be replaced by someone real or held up to unobtainable standards. We don't want to pretend, but we do need to know that we are attractive to you and that we are desired.
I dont understand why you feel like your wife could not stand the sight of you and why you are ashamed of normal human urges. Did you continue to have desire for her as well? Did you feel guilty if perhaps you lost this desire?
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
) It's like discovering that your favorite politician who you donated tons of time and money to is just like all the rest. 