Hi Strong, you may find it helpful to have a look at the boundaries cheat sheet. The important thing about boundaries is that they are not primarily about consequences. They are about you drawing a protective circle around yourself and preventing further hurt as much as you are able.

Now, when you do this there tend to be consequences, but those aren't the reason to do it. They are just what unfold as a result of your actions and decisions. Of course, there are consequences for you too, depending on what you decide to do.

When my H disclosed his A, he was clearly in the throes of infatuation and dashing off abroad to see OW. In the days & weeks after the BD, I realised I couldn't return to our marital home and live there...ramble around along in a big empty house alone. It would hurt me too much & I just wanted to be with my family. So I didn't return. Now, that had consequences for me and for H, but the reason for making that decision was always about me and what I needed to do for myself during a difficult time...

Take care & good luck with whatever you decide x

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus