I understand that you still care what happens to your ex. I still care about what happens to mine, even though he's being such a jerk these days. And I think it's ok to reward the good behaviors and ignore the bad ones. He may start turning into someone who could at least be somewhat of a fasther in his girls' lives.
That being said, the first thought that popped into my mind when I read your post was the Buddhist principle: "All suffering comes from desire". The contact from him causes you suffering because you still DESIRE a reconciliation. You need to free yourself from that desire and live your life. Let's face it, even if he were starting to come out of his tunnel, the man needs YEARS of sobriety and counseling and inner work before he could ever become a worthy partner to you in the future, and the odds of him doing ALL of that work are pretty slim. You need to live your life and look FORWARD, and treat him as you would a disturbed friend or younger brother.
