Taking Joy!

[job]

Heather,
I caution people that from Thanksgiving to March 17th, their runaway spouses may begin to poke their heads of out the rabbit holes and not to think it's a true blue reconnection. Why do they do this? Because they actually remember the good times, i.e., family traditions that they shared in w/their families and yes, it's also a reminder to us that they are still out there (whether they realize they are doing this or not is something that still amazes me each and every holiday season).

One thing...detach even more so and do not engage w/him on anything but the children. The divorce has settled up everything else and quite frankly, you do not need this man popping into your life each and every holiday. He's bad news and it's evident that he still needs you as a security blanket. Time to cut the man loose. Your daughters are old enough to decide whether to communicate w/him or not. At this point in your life, you need to focus on you and your girls and create a new, happy and secure life for yourself.

Matt isn't good for you. He's not been there for you and the girls for a very long time. Yes, you can feel sorry for him, but when his communications take over your mind for any length of time, then that should be a sign that you need to keep your responses back to him as civil, but short and to the point. He needs to realize that you have moved on and what divorce means, i.e., you are no longer his safety blanket and he isn't your problem any longer. As for his questions about the pets...it's just to hook you into responding back to him. Don't take the bait.

Heather, you've come too far to backslide now w/the holidays around the corner. He's not happy and he certainly isn't too happy that life is looking good for you and the girls. He wants you right back where you were two years ago. Don't go backward...continue to move forward!