Adventures of PP, Woofie, and the WAW (9)

[PigPen]

Thanks Fogg, appreciate you stopping by. It's the oddest feeling to have my W want to connect with me and learn more about me all the while pushing to get the D over with.

I understand the desire to "burn the old M to the ground", as it was hard for her to be in it. It was a struggle for both of us for a lot of it. So much of that was due to external circumstances but so much of it was also due to our dynamic and so much of it was due to my own personal problems. I've burned them already.

The day after meeting with her is always hard as I go through the conversation in my head and try to argue with all of the points she brought up. Many were valid though so I can only listen to them and learn from them.

I'm curious as to how things will be with us moving forward. She knows I'm leaving for a year but also now wants to connect. She's restated that she doesn't want anything from me in the D and knows I can't take my dog with me traveling so there's no ulterior motive for the connection, at least one I can find.

Yesterday was intriguing to say the least. At one point she even said, "If we did get back together and any of the old patterns reemerged we'd know it immediately, neither of us would be able to stand it for a second." I agreed with her, but in the back of my head though that this is the first time she's ever talked about the possibility of reconciliation or starting a new relationship. That was also followed up with her stating that I had agreed at the previous swap that we could never get back together, thus the reason she was confused as to why I wouldn't want the D finalized myself.

I had agreed that I could never go back to our old M, but didn't think that was the time to ask her to hold off on the D until after next year or that we could possibly build a new relationship.

Confusing, confusing, confusing.

No matter what happens with us now, I will say that it felt good to have her be inquisitive about me. She seemed almost frustrated that she had shared and I had not. I'm a direct guy and have had this said to me in relationships in the past. My reply has always been, "If you want to know something, ask!"

Ask and I'll talk your ear off but I wasn't raised with the idea that I should just up and blab on about my life. Maybe I do keep things to myself more than is healthy in relationships though. My W told me she had only gotten broad strokes about what I've been through this year.

Anyway, let the learning continue.