Honestly, I think it's more a matter of control with Matt. I'm his security blanket and he likes me in his back pocket. I'm not sure he even likes me much anymore. I'm the reminder of the bad shid he has done.
Answering my own question:
Why is he bad news again?
I didn't cheat. I didn't move in with someone else while married. I didn't abandon the kids for months/years. in fact, most of my overspending was to make things better for the kids.
Ok. I'm overwhelmed with all I have to do today/this week. He is a nice distraction. And, I think I'm angry because he comes in and teases us all--then GONE.
Victories!! Opened a bank account here. Got a big chunk of newspaper stuff done yesterday. Had a bunch of fun with Louisa yesterday. Got her a Christmas present she really wants. Got a great deal. Took some pressure off Christmas.
I think, under the desperate feeling... Tons of anger at this manipulation. How dare you come into our lives over and over and try to manipulate to make yourself feel better. He uses us to lift his shoddy feelings.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
