But I can sleep at night knowing who I am, what I did, and there is no sex in the world that is better than being able to look in the mirror.
Reading that story you told about you at work and the women made me think you might be my long lost twin. I had something similar happen in the months following my W's disclosure about her adultery although the women I was around didn't work with or for me, so it was less complicated. To make matters worse, I was running a lot at the time and was in great shape for 40 and had some opportunities, and it wasn't simply about the physical act it was about being wanted and valued...but the physical was part of it to be sure. It made me almost physically ill having to resist that temptation. I started running early mornings before work, going to the gym at lunch, then coming home and running again before supper just to burn off the stress and wear myself out. It was brutal.
One thing I used to tell myself at the time was, Someday one or both of your kids might be in a similar spot and need someone who can testify to the value of doing what's right over what's easy or more desirable. But I thought about it exactly as you did and to this day I am glad I resisted that.
