New thread - My WW

[Strngr!]

I have laid down that boudary and i stick by those words i just not sure what yo do to enforce it. I do stand by it i will not live in an OM where my wife carries out in appropriate relationships with other people and had her focus set on them. Just not sure what to do next other people told me not to draft up divorce papers. She wont leave the house because she wants to be with son. I will not leave house.

I would like to get her out of our MB but i asked if i should move her stuff change the locks right away based off the other night or do i wait for another obvious act of disrespect and do it at that time.

I guess she hasnt lost much yet. Gosh i suck at this

I thought she would be more mad about the phone app she was but not as mad as i expected. She just said alot about her not being able to trust me now. And how she doesnt think us is going to work. She doesnt think we will be able to get over the trust issues.

I do know for a fact she was with the other man she told me and im pretty sure they were physical that night. I overheard her tell her freind she had a wild night.

This is a real tough time for me to be in this situation. I feel bad for our little guy its his first christmas he will really get to enjoy it. He was too young last year. Normally we share responsability of planning our christmas gatherings. I wont plan the bday party and i wont buy her a gift.

I am bad and i have continued spying. I know i need to stop but im having a hard time. I had a glimmer of hope a couple times when she seemed to get mad at OM when he did not make himself availikle to meet up with her. I thought that was a good thing but maybe its just her trying to push his buttons and minipulate him into giving here what she wants. Any chance this could be the ultimate end to their A eventually. Last night i saw her tell him she doesnt think they can talk anymore shes too sensitive for their kind of relationhlship. She gets sad easy and stuff like this. What do you think is this a good sign?

Do i just keep on doing what ive been doing and wait until she comes to me showing true remorse? At what point do i pick her back up and show her i do actually care. Is that a ling ways away still?

[isittoolate]

So you are sleeping in the same bed as your W who is also sleeping with OM?

Don't you see the lack of respect here? Where is the consequence of her choice?
Choice = consequence= loss
Kick her out of the MBR!

[Strngr!]

Again so i bring it up out of the blue just move her stuff. I dont have evidence in hand that says she had sex with him. I also dont want to tell her i was spying again. Shouldnt i just wait for her next slip up when she comes home late or does something obvious? I see the disrespect. That is all i see lately and its getting harder and harder the see a purpose to this. I guess my purpose has to be to improve myself and for this to be for my future with or without her.

[NDY]

Hi strong. Hope you are good.

I've been following your thread and thought I'd chip in if that's ok? You have Sandi2 helping you and she's a big hitter so listen to what she says.

For me, I'd like to to a mind experiment. Imaging your best pal of the last 20 years, who's always been a good friend and there for you suddenly has a bad streak and steals you car. Crashes the car and you are left out of pocket with no car. Would you then give him the keys to your next car? Would you still hang out with him at weekends? Even if he wasn't remorseful and laughed about the time he stole your car?

Bad analogy I know but my point is you would be p!ssed at him and you would let him know as much. And you probably wouldn't be his friend until he was truly sorry and tried to make amends. And if he didn't? Well his loss.

See where I'm coming from? She holds all the power right now mate and you are scared. Scared of the consequences of something you did not create and are not in control of.

But you are in control of you. Dignity first. That's why they say grow a pair. Why are you scared?

Now I know what that fear is like. I was that guy for a long time but it starts there. Self respect. Dignity. Control over your own actions. You will not be treated like a doormat. After all you wouldn't allow that treatment in any other area of your life now would you?

See that constant pressure you feel in your skull? That only goes away once you let go and start excerting yourself.

You can do this mate.

Peace

[isittoolate]

Your signature says PA confirmed on 30th Oct.

She is in love with the thrill of the chase of OM.....and she's had no consequences

[mvgfwd2]

Many have suggested to you days ago to put her out of the MB. Why do you keep asking if you should? You don't need to wait, just do it. You know what she's doing, she knows what's she's doing, so get on with it. She just doesn't know what you know, who cares.

[Zephyr]

Many, yes but sandi also made advice that strong should take some time ans maybe wait for the holidays. He really needs to decide for himself. He is doing great, yes but has a ton of thinking left to do to come up with his plans for protecting himself. Note i said protecting himself snd not punishing wife...he needs to still lesrn the diffrrence.

In the meantime :

He still needs to work on his gal.

He still needs to work non his self worth / esteem / confidence.

He still needs to work on setting goals for himself.

He still needs to work on his happiness.

[NDY]

Zef. While getting the p!ss taken out of him? How can you do any of those things with no self respect?

IMO I didn't start to get my chit together until I started to exert what I wanted. And that started with my dignity. Get me? All those things mean nothing if they are just there to mask your pain and try to win your W back. You have to live it. See the difference?

Peace friend.

[mvgfwd2]

He needs his wife out of the MB for his own peace of mind. As long as his W is sharing his bed, and ramming her disrespect down his throat, he will not be as effective to get him to a strong position.

[NDY]

Mv. Agreed. A back bone is required here.