OK, apparently everyone is out shopping or sleeping off Thanksgiving, or GAL so I will be my own advice giver.
I need to reign in the emotion, go back to non-reacting which I have been doing well with except for a couple of slip ups.
Practice patience and kindness with H. Keep a pleasant tone and attitude.
Carefully consider what I actually want and bring it up in MC when I figure out how to phrase it, and it has to be something that will help me move forward and not be a rehash of an old problem.
GAL is exhausting me right now, so I need to tone it back and work on simpler ways to GAL that build my energy rather than sap it.
H is leaving soon, so things will take their own course pretty soon anyway. No need to rush into anything, just focus on now.
As far as things to bring up in MC, we have about 2 more sessions before H leaves. I want him to leave on a positive note. I want him to feel validated and I also want to feel validated. The issue I think I need to address right now is that when he brings up a concern he brings it up in a way that makes me feel berated. I need to find a way to express that in a non-confrontative and honest way. I will not focus on my hurt, on my loneliness, on "I want to fix this marriage"- I will express concerns about the way he communicates. I need to find a healthy way to express this as a boundary and not an accusation.
Also he called me "mom" twice this weekend and this isn't the first time this has happened but I am staying away from that one with a 1000 foot pole.
I am welcoming the separation. Actually welcoming it.
