That is an excellent suggestion but I'm not sure H will go for it. His thinking may be that I bombarded him with every question known about the subject when he first told me about the A (8 mos ago). My questions then at first pushed him away and than he read the Infidelity chapter in DR and "allowed" for them. I can understand his reasoning about not wanting to hear them anymore...if I were in his position I might not want to keep clarifying things myself.
I don't ask about the A itself anymore though, he answered those questions for me as openly and honestly as I believe he was able to. The questions I ask are more along the lines of reassurance. He was fine with this for awhile but now the "dead horse" syndrome has risen. I believe I posted on my old thread that for him "all that crap is over with" and so it should be for me too. I should KNOW without having to be told.
I have even told him straight out that my LL is WOA as well as touch. That I needed to hear SPOKEN reassurances...H said "OK, but I prefer actions over words and my actions should tell you that you have nothing to worry about".
I run into too many walls over this one. It has started to turn into a cheeseless tunnel. I think it has become one of those "unresolvable issues" that Michele says many couples have. I cannot MAKE my H reassure me with words if he does not want to.
I have to learn to speak his "action" language. So far all I'm "hearing" is a bunch of gibberish
Hugz, Zoo
"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm."
- Mahatma Gandhi
