Wonderful ideas. I see myself right there, too. May I suggest something? Ow is out of the picture, and you have a need for answers. Could you set aside a specific time once a week for say 15 minutes where your H knows you may ask questions, get answers and then that's it. 15 minutes once a week is the only time you can bring it up.
This will let you know you can ask questions, but you'll have to think about what you really need to know. H will know you are not going to bug him at any other time about this subject. You both may realize that the horse doesn't need to be beat.
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
