Dealing with the Holidays

[- MB -]

So, Thanksgiving was the first holiday (other than Halloween) that I had to spend without my WH. I figured it was going to be lonely for me, but I had no idea that I would feel the way I actually did. It was a pretty bad day for me from the time I woke up until I finally was able to fall asleep at about 7 the next morning! I did feel lonely and sad just like I figured I would, but I also felt extremely grouchy, irritable and just plain in a bad mood! And then couldn't go to sleep to save my life. Ugh! I felt like I jumped down anyone's throat that happened to try to speak to me or stand within about 5 feet of me. I knew that I wasn't being friendly to ANYONE or any fun to be around. I just couldn't stop myself. I found myself trying to apologize to everyone, then I just felt worse for being such a jerk. I was trying so hard to keep my emotions in check that I guess I was mad that no one seemed to even notice or care that I was dying inside. Not really their fault, but I also couldn't seem to help how I felt. Or, maybe I was just really ticked that my WH didn't even care enough to think about me on the first Thanksgiving in 10 years that we weren't together. Who knows. Anyone else feel this way on holidays? I can't even imagine how I'm going to feel on Christmas! Maybe I should just call and say I'm sick and can't go.