I will never understand women as I will never understand men. Yes, women are wired differently but each woman is a world unto herself. As is each man.
I can only follow a simple guide for dummies. I am not as gifted as some here to analyze each word or action of the S and read between the lines to that level. I can only up to a certain point.
I am saying this because I would not have confessed as you did. I do not as a man understand why you did it if no one was the wiser. I am not judging you, just trying to understand you. I have a lot of personal issues and demons in my head that I try and solve myself.
As for marriages, I think we consider them based on our situation. Some say a piece paper does not mean anything, it is the emotion behind it that counts. Others think that the paper gives them rights so they lax on their marital duties. Some believe in open marriages. Some dont.
You may have acted with integrity for yourself and from your POV and maybe the act in itself was. What you were being honest about wasnt.
The fact you never crossed your moral line doesnt mean you didnt cross hers. What if she in her own way was waiting for you to show emotions to her, do something and you now tell her you had feelings for someone else. Regardless of whether or not you acted on them is irrelevant. If my w had said what you had said I would have been hurt.
Integrity does not heal, honesty does not heal.
When you opened up to W and confessed you were acting on your feelings and POV. As you didnt know what she was thinking or feeling you couldnt know how she would react.
Going back to marriages and your comments ... what does being married mean to you. I think it is about emotions. If there is no emotion how is it a marriage? Another point... how do you know what would have happened in the future? Isnt that arrogance? controlling?
I always thought that experience was knowledge through exposure. And in some ways can relate to that. I have experienced Pain, Hurt, Sadness, happiness, deceit, love, hate, rejection, the list is endless.
Having experienced these I am now weary of doing anything to cause the negative ones and focus on causing the positive ones.
Sometimes it is not about being the best person you can be but being the best person to be with.
