She wants me to Leave 3rd Time .....EA Confirmed!

[isittoolate]

Hi GB/Max/NDY

I appreciate the time and effort put in on my behalf.

GB - a great post and thanks - I will read it slowly to absorb.

I am trying to do what works - remember I have had partial success in the past and am a much, much nicer better person than the person I was in 2011.

Also remember this has been going for 4 years BUT -I did 6 months of 180's and GAL and got W to consider reconciliation. Then for 2 years life was good. W loved me again in word and deed but we didn't put in the hard yards to sustain that love.
I retained my new better behaviours (very supportive of W in her work, doing more housework, getting physically fit, GALLIng etc etc) but WE didnt work at US - our intimate, emotional connection.

I am a classic Nice Guy and when the MR drifts and I can feel W detaching I dont do anything about it. I dont complain and I reason and rationalize problems away. i.e. no sex this week again - oh, but we have been too busy. work, the kids etc/

Anyway back to this weekend.

Had an IC session last night and IC thought the FB messages I had seen didn't amount to much. She thought OM is mentally childlike in his behaviours and words and W uses him as an fun outlet (verbally) at the end of a serious day at work - most of their convos are goofing around using what I call baby talk. IC thought I shouldnt confront her on the evidence....yet.

W was good when I got home. She offered me a lift in her car to my GAL activity as it was raining hard. I went to a Xmas party with the running club. I don't often go out socially with them (once or twice a year) and got lots of compliments about my clothes, new hairstyle, and general slimness - from the ladies - a nice ego boost.

Today I'm feeling a little post-alcohol blues. Ive tested the recorder and will try to get access to W's car this afternoon. Unfortunately she parks right in front of house so it will not be easy.

Also W has not spoken disrespectfully to me last night or this morning. IC agrees I should clamp down on W if she does.

IC was encouraged by how much W has sort 'connection' with me recently:

- going out of her way to make my GAL life easier - a lift to the pub and railway station
- tea in bed 3 times
- accepting shoulder rub and foot massage
- talking about her anxiety/ insecurity about S11
- talking about her work
- more conversive texts - with 'see you later'/'talk later'/'see you tomorrow' at the end

Small things, small steps - these are positive steps by any DBing philosophy