Zero steps forward

[Pax_luv]

Thanks pinn and rouky.

So SIL didn't poke her head out at all.... I guess that answers that!

H was in a good mood and I could tell he was going to be happy b/c his texts coordinating dog swap were a lil peppy.... he hasn't used the words cool! or great! with me in forever. It's interesting to me b/c he's always complaining about someone or something. I know his sister used to drive him nuts, for a multitude of reasons. When things started going south for me and H and right before I moved out, he started talking to his Sister more and they even started saying " Love you" to eachother. He doesn't say those words to anyone in his family...not his mom... and NEVER to his dad. They don't say it back either. I think this is part of the "stuff" that H is workign on in dealing with his childhood issues. I remember it used to make me so jealous that he was newly expressing love to his sister as he was completely rejecting me. Oh well.

When I went to get the dog, he was super happy. and engaging me in small talk. I had the opportunity to give him a compliment on something and he appreciated it.

On to something NOT related to H.... In 5 months, I haven't had the desire to cook at all. Making nice nutritious and varied meals for me and H was something that meant a lot to me while in my role as W. I guess it's part of my "acts of service" love language. As I elluded in my post above, making things that my H could eat was important to me. Since I moved out, I have had zero interest in cooking.... everything I prepped was just out of necessity. For some reason, today, my desire to cook came back (it's likely fleeting), but I had this subconcious desire to make a real meal. So tonight I made a steak with mushrooms in a port reduction and roasted cauliflower. There's also a flourless quiche in the oven for tomorrow morning. I guess cooking came to mind due to TxGiving, and it was weird that I even mentioned the cooking in the post above without even realizing that it was a need I needed to fill within myself. I actually realized this as I was prepping tonights meal... it hit me like a ton of bricks, "Oh my gosh, I'm excited about cooking this meal!" Before this, the thought of preparing a nice meal just made me sad bc it was reserved as a service that I did for H.
That's a good sign right!?!?!