Rouky thanks for the response. You have been at this much longer than I. You are also much stronger than I have been in the past. It took only a month of waiting around before I decided to end the anguish without realizing it would only be the start of another round.
I have been thinking of my W a whole lot. Most likely more than I should. I chalk it up to it being the first holiday season without her. This time of year was always special to both of us and grocery and gift shopping feels like such a chore these days. Ups and downs are balancing out and becoming more level so I know there has been some progress. I wish many times we could just fast forward through it all and avoid the ride all together. I know it is all part of the growth we require in these times so I embrace them and vent some here and there.
Goals- some have been imposed such as finding a new home and new people to keep my mind off things and building additional income streams. My personal goals are in place which are to run and get a work out in every day I can. To discover places and things I have wanted to but didn't get around to. To discover myself emotionally and mentally. I know they sound broad and I can and maybe should list them in more detail so I will in a future post.
