Agreed. It's difficult because all three of us know how all consuming it can be suspecting your W is in an A. And Max, you and I know how much worse it is once the A is confirmed. It does consume you. But the objective is to not let it take over and define your life.

It's hard and a little complicated as IS has already done DB to a degree of success twice already. Going back to GB's posts it does seem odd that this has been going on for so long. But there are many, many women that have secret A's but stay with their husbands for a long time. And these A's are usually with married men that are happy with the status quo.

So knowing one way or the other is just a step in the journey. But which journey doesn't distract from IS and his objectives on working on him.

Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.