in house S (5)

[vise82]

hey,

This is just some thoughts,

I am thinking of letting this take it course. I need to be moving on this. I think the house has to sell anyway. We cannot afford it. I am not afraid of living on my own, I have done it before I met my W.

So What am I afraid of? good question. I am afraid of losing the dream, being married house two kids ect. My W is my Dream girl. Maybe it is a dream and I did not see it for what it realy is, disfuntional.

I am afraid of the rejection, of being left behind, not being loved.

It hurts to realize that someone you gave your heat to with all its imperfection does not want you.

I am afraid that adult problems are going to mess up our kids.

I am afraid of change. Though I have move enough to know there is always a place to live that will fit you just have to look.

I am afraid of looking like a failure with regards to the MR.

Through the whole conversation my W never mentioned D. It was me that said it. She just wants for us to physically separate, she was saying that what we were doing was not separation. We were not separate enough for her. I guess she wants the full experience of separation. She was in so much pain talking about it.