The OM is also married, has 2 D, goes to same Gim as W, I know where he works and I know the area he lives. I know his FB as well as his W's.
I told him 2 times to back off. He didnt. I finally went to his work place and confronted him and as he was smug behind the counter said I would see him in the openess of the gim entrance. He got the memo.
I know how it started and almost when.
I think I have a pretty accurate idea of how things developed.
What I do not know is what they said or did.
My W rarely went out on weekends but as I travel a bit she would have had plenty of time. Sometimes she would go to a night out and come back around 2-3 am. Dinner here is around 11:00 pm.
The point is .. who cares if it was a PA. Does it make it easier? In my case no.
I threatened the OM as a man to man thing as he knows me from the Gim. Not to protect R.
The correct way to protect R is for her to shut him out.
I cannot go around bashing every guy I suspect is playing with my wife. I need to have my W not want to play around. Only if W makes it clear to someone she is not interested and they persist would I intervene but thats different.
I think my W has messed around max twice and very many years between each. The first one I dont know,just a hunch and i cant act on hunches against her.
We are grown men and sometimes have a deep relationship with a W on a healthy level. No benefits and do care deeply but it stays that way. We would be open to misinterpretation as well if W found out so Ill take note of possible A #1 but just store it.
A #2 is proven and admitted. Im no angel, I broke off from my OW a year ago and in the process lost a friend but I knew W was uncomfortable deep down so I respected her feelings. I put W first.
In short Is, and as cadet put it, work on yourself and your R. The OM is a distraction. If you do confront him your W will probabl back him, hate you and make him OM#1. Now you may have to worry about OM#2 if your W decides to continue looking elsewhere. so everyone is the problem but your W? Guess again.
Seriously Is, work on your life and show your W that for the time being YOU LHBNILWH and have no time for silly behaviour. You have something more important to attend to ... IS...
