Max - Also I am quite detached in my interactions with W. Pursuing to a minimal, no phonecalls, unnecessary texts or emails. I dont bring up R, or follow her round house, i dont do excessive housework , just what I have always done, I GAL - 3 nights this week already.
I obey the 37 rules.
I try to do what works - remember 2012 ....I do some of the things that worked then but most were GAL or learning to validate and listen or getting physically fitter etc. For instance W loves a shoulder rub and/or foot massage. Before 2011 I rarely did either - whilst Dbing in 2012 I did many footrubs and continued after R. I have done dozens and dozens of foot rubs since and she loves them. Last Sunday I did another footrub and she thanked me. Is it pursuing Yes, probably, but its also doing what worked.
I agree i am not detached emotionally at all. I weigh up every interactions into a positive or negative, its the OM that is killing me emotionally. If OM was not in picture I would be a lot more detached.
Its a balancing act - tough love and doing what works
Me49 W45 T15 M13 S11 S8 BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12 Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12 W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing! May-Oct14 drifting Dec 14 W agrees to more QT BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY W filed 1/25/16
