Some on here advocate a more aggressive line, - some advocate getting all the intel possible (NDY and GB) then confronting.
I know its an EA and a completely inappropriate relationship in a MR. But W believes she is not married and we are just waiting until NY before we separate. Believe me I have gone through every scenario in my head over the last few weeks. Now EA is confirmed, I want to stamp on W, on OM (break his legs) and tell his partner. To tell my friends, family and W family......
I dont know OM full history but he is 39 and has been with his partner 13 years and they have D12 and SS17?
I will know where OM lives by Monday.
Back in 2012 after first BD, i was lucky and found DB books etc in a couple of weeks I had 6 months of hell but we reconciled after I did 180's and GAL - I was an [censored] to live with and I sorted ME out but WE didnt sort out the underlying MR problems. W didnt take any responsibility for our problems and I didnt question it - I wanted R at any cost. I didnt take advise on here to get counselling and other help because I was so elated at the overnight reconciliation. Back then she was a WAW not a WW. I snooped back in 2012 but it was easier then with less security on phones - I could not find any evidence of EA/PA . I worked on fixing me and that led to R - just like DB book .
The 2nd BD was after she read some of my self-help books on my kindle and convinced herself I was manipulating her for R.
The next 2 years were good, then the drift. The 3rd BD wasnt really a BD, more like a plea from me to sort out our problems as I could feel the drift.
The presence of OM has threw me completely in Oct and I guess I was in denial. My W has integrity and wouldnt do such a thing etc.
The confrontation re:OM is coming but I want full intel as to whether it is a PA or not.
Me49 W45 T15 M13 S11 S8 BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12 Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12 W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing! May-Oct14 drifting Dec 14 W agrees to more QT BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY W filed 1/25/16
