It saddens me to hear that your H is being an ass through this. I'm sorry for you Judy. You have to focus on your health. Please. The job opportunity sounds awesome! That is a very positive step.
Take care of yourself, I'm glad you popped back in!
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Thanks anc for the update...there were wome antsy folks looking to see how you were doing.
I cant imagine the spew you were getting from h, it is really inbelievable how amgry the mlc'r gets...ive been there and it is best to not add more fuel to the fire...get pissed yourself, ok your choic....but dont add to
People say all the time not to burn a bridge. I hate that expression. If there is a relationship thst is not healthy for you burn away and build a new one if need be, LATER.
I hope you are safe this week and start to get youraelf healthy. ..priority #1.
I hope you can start to show yourself aome compassion and find aome more to be grateful of...and have a truly thanks giving.
I will have a great Thanksgiving Day holiday with my children tomorrow.
I will stay calm around H...No more adding fuel to fire. I've separated the house into 2 parts. No need to interact.
I will allow L to do what she needs to do to protect me; no more "protecting" H.
I will stay calm, meditate, and believe the heart problems are temporary. I already know PMA makes a huge difference, equal to diet and exercise. No more doomsday thinking.
That's a good start for now. Enough for the weekend. I'm going to go catch up on other's threads. I miss everyone!
Ancaire, I am so sorry, I was really worried about you and for good reason, it seems. I don't know what to say except I hope your L is awesome and you get everything you need and more. Your health is so important! You have been such a rock to everyone here, that comes from your heart, you have to take care of it! Sending you much love and prayers today and will be thinking of you tomorrow on Thanksgiving.
Had a fantastic Thanksgiving with the kids! I did what I had to...No sighs, tears, sad faces, or mention of dad. I know they appreciated it, even though we didn't mention it. I've been so sad and scared since BD I've worn them down - so I was happy to prove to myself I could do what I needed to do!
My H...what a joke. I now know, for sure, who OW is, and was unhappy to learn the truth. H is the classic middle-aged freak show. She's barely over half his age, and really pretty. I looked at her and wondered WTF is wrong with her? She's young, gorgeous, supposedly a law school student...and the best she can do is a 50 year old, married, pot-bellied, and bald father of five? I am really looking forward to laughing my behind off when whatever it is she really wants presents itself. I'm almost certain it's money, and he is about to be in a world of hurt. No wonder he was pressuring me to fire my L!
Another piece to the puzzle regarding the night I lost my mind has been found. I had a hysterectomy years ago. 3 months ago, I was prescribed testosterone...just 1%. 3 days before the weekend I went nutso, I told the Dr. I was feeling kind of off, so they took a blood sample. They started calling me the next week, but I was so embarrassed, I didn't call back. I just assumed they saw me on the news and were checking on me. (Yes. My humiliation made the evening news.)
Nope. I went in on Monday, learned the results of the blood work, and found that my body wasn't metabolizing the testosterone. The level they were aiming for was 20. Mine was over 200! They said levels that high are indicative of "roid rage". I was given several copies of my blood work for my cardiologist and lawyers. High levels of T can also cause heart arrhythmias. Wow. I was okay with the explanation I had, but finding one more piece to understand "why" really is a comfort.
Still having chest pain and palpitations, but it is easing off about 15%. Not great, but at least some improvement, which is better than none. Stress. Unbelievable what damage it can do!
I really jacked up my poor car when I had the accident. Still in the shop...expected completion date is December 18th! H is spitting mad they didn't total it. When I told the appraiser what had occured (what H said about "2 or 3 others"), and begged him to save it if he could, I had a feeling he would. The only people on earth who don't have any sympathy for me are H and his crew of lowlifes. Even the attorneys are appalled...at him, not me! The general consensus is he's lucky to be alive, the cheating jerk!
I'm finally getting it figured out. My feelings for H are becoming clearer, too. I love the man I married. That man is gone. The person he is now? No love lost for him - I'm mostly embarrassed he's the father of my children. I thought I chose so much more wisely. My poor kids.
I'm going to let L be as mean as she needs to be. I've been trying so hard to be nice and reasonable, and he's ruining my credit as thanks! No more.
Great job interview opportunity coming up Monday. Planning on staying up with newborn granddaughter this weekend. Putting stuff I want to keep in storage. Feeling much calmer.
I'm glad you are feeling a little better physically, and it sounds like much better mentally and emotionally. I hope adjusting your meds helps with the heart issues ad well as the "roid rage".
Thanks for checking in me too! I appreciate it. I'm glad you had a nice Thanksgiving with your family. It's very bittersweet isn't it? At least mine was.
Take care, and I am wishing you the best!
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Anc- so glad you had a great Thanksgiving and the testosterone totally makes sense. Is there till a court case against you for that "episode"? If so - you now have your defense I had to laugh at your comment - "I looked at her and wondered WTF is wrong with her? She's young, gorgeous, supposedly a law school student...and the best she can do is a 50 year old, married, pot-bellied, and bald father of five? " I could have written the exact same thing:) Sounds like you are doing so much better. Health, job, perspective, overall - life. Keep it up Judy!!
