dday, attempting to find clarity

[dday]

Judy, thanks for dropping by, I have missed you! I feel that you are right, she is keeping me just close enough for her plans...whatever they are. She is still trying to talk to me as if nothing has changed. Wednesday night it was dentist, shopping, dogs, etc. Last night it was black Friday stuff. My sis is starting a new business, and W took her card when I showed her. W has been texting my sister too. And they hadn't communicated since W filed. Why now?

I am trying to figure out how to be as dark as possible, and not be an ass. I still want a chance at R, but I don't with the person she is right now. So it's going to take work on her end. I am closer to the values and actions of the person she married. W has never been farther. I know it can work out. If she wants it to. I am losing my faith in her though. That is another big blow.

My grandma, in the nursing home, yesterday said to me to keep praying and that God takes things away sometimes to make us realize what we had. And sometimes because they would get so much worse. Said to have faith that it will all work out. I'm trying!