Hey, SD you talk like I do. Considering how much I love murder mysteries, esp. with a hint of a British accent that might not be a surprise. My rant and raves are usually about what love really means and how anger is a secondary emotion. My H is ALWAYS angry about something. If he can't find something to be angry about he is so uncomfortable that it's comical. The fact that it is becoming comical to me is a blessing from on high. I know it sounds a little crazy but I can survive anything I can laugh about. That's why I wanted a H with a sense of humor. I figure we could grow old together giggling about life's little quirks. Instead I got an angry, mad at the world, the world owe me better, why me, poor me, don't know body know the trouble I see fake! Talk about bait and switch. And I told him on the first date if that was who he was keep stepping and he sat there and lied about who he was and what he wanted. About the only thing he got right was his name, birthday and ss#. Everything else was a lie. And what was his excuse when he was confronted later with this fact? "I thought you were lying,too. I thought you was only kidding and you would change." TALK ABOUT SOME LAME SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!!

So I preach some lovely sermons to people I meet, I drive a city bus so meet a lot of people every day, I tell people about to marry don't do it if you expect the other person to change. I tell them if you are unwilling to change, share or compromise donot marry, those things go with the territory. I also teach them that wonderful phrase I learned from Joyce Meyers "I think I am right but I might be wrong". Now that is a real get out jail free card!

I think that love is so much bigger than sex. Love is a verb. That's means there are actions taking place and that means I get to choose how I response to what going around me. I perfer to be happy and being happy is like love on simmer it's not boiling over but it like the base temperture. You know like my idle speed is happy. I got this long list of things I'm grateful for and I try to add at least one new thing every day. My Grandmother, Mom's side, said three things to a young me that helps this older me. She said, learn something new every day and you will never grow old. Since even a stopped watch is right twice a day, so someone who is always wrong can be right sometimes. And when you get sick don't lay there get up put your clothes and act like you feel fine anyway. She said it would fool the germs into thinking they were in the wrong place and they would leave sooner. Not bad for an old lady that smoked a corncob pipe and dipped snuff. I try to remember that "love never fails" and that love can be applied to any sitch. There is the loving response to what going on and there's the angry, selfish and sometimes hateful response. I don't have to be angry no matter what some else says. By the way that is something we fight about I am too cheerful. He has this long list of things that makes him angry and he never once questions if there is another way to go. So the line is long at the bank, it's moving and they haven't ran out of money and the lady in line with me is playing with her daughter and that man needs a little help because his hand is bandaged and the sun is shining and I got a small piece of chocolate to eat later on so what's the problem. Not my mate, he'd be bent out of shape just because the little girl spilled her soda and mommy didn't clean it up. Or she got some on dress and mom didn't have time to change her so they had to go to church that way and she ought to be ashamed of herself coming out with her child looking like that and she's a unfit mother because she should have been prepared for that and anything else. Lord, please spare me the shouldas, couldas and the oughtas.

Trust me, I could go on for pages. Maybe that's why writers have to have experience the stuff they write about. I never write when stuff is smooth sailing, I be busy having fun. But when the storms hit and my house is shaking I find that writing can get me through a lot. My H don't like people, except for small babies that belong to someone else and are asleep, so I go long periods in this house without a sound and I am female, I need to talk. When I can't talk, I write. I always wrote I just never seriously thought of it as a career move. I did not want to depend on the whim of the public for my next meal. It loses something for me if it has to follow a formula. I like to write then edit. Sometimes trying to fit into a pattern is too hard when it comes. This is really the first time since I found this place that I even tried to let the words flow like this because I know I talk too much and I write like I talk. I said all of this to let you know, SD, and the rest of you wonderful "guys" out there know that sometimes we just have to talk so talk to me. By the way don't worry about your spelling, it's a family trait for us, we can count easy but spell, ugh! Thank God for spell check.

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Growing older, mandatory. Growing up, optional. Growing wiser, a privilege.