If you can try to understand that she is not feeling the same hope. Maybe you didn't know it was pressure to her. I am not saying you were intentionally trying to pull her into the same place with you, but surely in your heart you knew that's what you wanted. That's why you felt so let down, afterwards. Anyway, I was trying to tell you from her viewpoint.
I suggest you step back for a few days, so that she can see that you aren't going to press her.
I remember a time when my H and I were out of church, and when his brother would come around us he would start talking about it. His brother was growing in the church and excited about it, and he wanted us to be like him. However, I avoided him b/c it was pressure and guilt.
In a MR, the emotional pressure is more intimate b/c you read each other. You know each other so well.
When we have a wonderful experience with God, it is natural to want to share that with your spouse. It is also natural to want you and your spouse to walk hand in hand before God. It hurts when your spouse is pulling away and does not want to share this with you. Many Christians have to go to church alone, leaving their spouse at home. It seems to be the most difficult to talk about this to a loved one who has rebellion in their life. Our job is to put them in God's hands, pray for them consistently, and just walk the walk.
We talk about making changes in ourselves. A lot of newcomers want the spouse to see their new changes. That's natural. But again, in the viewpoint of the wayward.......they may not be ready to accept it or want it. Some get angry and say, "Why did you wait till now to change"? Does the newcomer give up and return to their old ways? Not if he's making the changes for the right reasons.
You did the right thing when you poured your heart out to God. You felt refreshed and renewed. However, she didn't have it, b/c her heart is wayward and she has walls around her. It doesn't jive with what God wants, so she naturally will resist it. That was for you, and I know you felt like you hit bottom all over again when she showed no excitement, interest, or give no words of hope. Here's the thing.........you have to do this for you. Live your life before God, and she will see. She will see how you talk, react, handle things, and ost of all, your attitude.
As you can see, I am a talker, too. I have learned that I can keep my mouth closed and just do what I would do if Christ was sitting here beside me. Our actions and attitude speak so much louder than our words.
"Today is the day the Lord hath made. I will be glad and rejoice in it".
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
