Me and W have thr clothes split up between our houses and still send some back and forth. It depends on how much the kids are staying at each house but you could grab a load of them to take to your house so you can decide what they wear also.
I've felt the same with my interactions with W in the past. There were times where I was so angry at what she did to our family that that it was hard to out on a good PMA. I'm not sure how rude I got but there were times where she would come home and neither of us said a single word to eachother. Push past it and that phase will lessen. You will have to force the rudeness away now but as time goes by it gets easier to interact with them.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
