I wouldn't worry if or when you dropped the rope, if you keep chasing the moment you "drop it" it's likely to be just outside your grasp anyway. Ive been back and forth on that so many times in the past I stopped using the term for the most part. Besides, once you get to that point you won't really care your there anyway.

Good luck with kid swap.

Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be