I recommend you wait because you make saving your family and marriage (or deciding to divorce) so very much easier when ALL the truth is out on the table versus confronting with deniable proof and then being unable to discover anything because the affairees go on lockdown.
i also consider the likelihood that this has been going on for years. If they shut it down you MAY get an acknowledgement of something recent/current but she can still divorce you saying she told you she wanted a divorce the last two years, blah, blah, blah I wasn't cheating because he knew it was over, yada, yada, yaada.
The truth is obtainable right now (I hope). A few days and you'll hopefully have a lot more answers (and, I'm guessing a lot more hurt and anger).
Without the truth...you remain stuck in this guessing game and questioning your own perceptions (because she's gas lighting you). With the truth - your situation one way or another is going to progress out of stasis.
I appreciate the perspectives of Sandy and Wonka but they are both women. Wonka, as I understand it, is a lesbian so she has no experience with heterosexual marriage nor infidelity in heterosexual marriage. Their recommendations of how men should act and behave are actually, in my opinion, outlines of how most women handle cheating husbands. Most men don't handle it that way despite the women on many forums trying to get them to "man up" in their womanly opinion and act like, well, women. You are a man. As a man, you define your own masculinity. You use your manly logic and reasoning skills to investigate the truth about your situation and resolve to respond accordingly and after seeking wise counsel thereafter. A man doesn't throw temper tantrums. A man doesn't try to intimidate a woman physically. A man speaks the truth, expresses his feelings appropriately without begging. A man can cry.
A man also is strategic and realizes his reactions to infidelity are being or may be measured and used against him. When you go to battle with a wayward wife they are often far more experienced at battling their way through relationship conflict and flipping the table on you. They've been emotionally battling women since elementary school. They don't fight fair and a wayward wife takes that to new heights. You think you've got her busted now but if you aren't smart and just think you can roll in with a little evidence and PROVE she's done anything - you are sadly mistaken. She'll admit nothing until she knows it's useless to deny it any longer. Worse - if she thinks she can deny it she'll make your life miserable for even trying to confuse her and make you out to be the snooping horrible controlling jerk. Basically, she'll project all her lying cheating sneaking attributes upon you and then skewer you for it.
Be a man YOU choose to be but whatever you decide, be a smart man.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
