KTfo, I am somewhat hesitant to say this, b/c I don't want you think I'm trying to pull down your faith. I have been on sides, as a faithful Christian and as a wayward sinner. I am going to just spit it out. You aren't the first man and won't be the last to turn to God when he is scared and doesn't know what else to do. You want God to make things right in your M. I get it.
I am not here to offend you or hurt your feelings. More than that, I don't want to see misplaced faith. I really do want to see you brow spiritually. Many people use what they see as "faith" or "believing" or "prayer"..........much like someone would rub a lamp and expect a genie to grant their wish. Of course, we know that God is not some magical genie, Santa Clause, a Christmas miracle, or whatever. Trust me, people have tried to bargin, make deals or promises, just to get what they want from God. However, God doesn't work that way, and man usually makes things worse for himself, by trying to help God. The scripture says, "All things are possible with God", and I believe it. So please don't misunderstand that point. If God doesn't do it, man can usually look no further than his own heart to see why.
God created man and woman to have free volition. He could have set it up where we had no choices at all. So many times I have heard people ask God "why" did He let this or that happen, or why didn't He give them what they asked of Him. God gets blamed a lot, right? Anyway, having free volition plays a huge part in the scheme of things in our lives.
There are, at least, three things to keep in mind. One is that when we pray, it has to be within the will of God and not contrary to His Word. Second is that every person involved in your situation and around you and your W has free will. Third, God will take care of you and do what's best for you.....even if you can't see it. before you jump to the wrong presumption, yes, God wants your M to be saved. It doesn't mean He's going to make your W do something against her own volition. See what I mean? However, He certainly can work circumstances around effectively. Our part is making sure we are in the center of His will.
In all honesty, to a WW, your letter is a lot of emotional pressure. You are telling her about how you are placing all this faith in God to do this & that in the MR.........which obviously includes her. That places pressure on her! Does she not do what you told her you are praying about, and therefore, take a chance in totally destroying your faith? Does she succumb, and just grit her teeth and try to get through one more Christmas? If I were in her shoes, I would be FURIOUS with you! I would accuse you of being unfair and pulling the religion card, b/c that is exactly what you have done to her.
Let me give you a hint as to how I know you were using it. You wrote this long, emotional email. Then you anxiously awaited her answer. She did not respond the way you expected. Yes, you were stocked full of expectations.......and I am not talking about faith-based ones, either. You took the entire thing out of God's hands and took it upon yourself to apply the pressure on your W. sorry, but that's not faith. Faith is when you leave it all up to God, without trying to help Him. It pi$$ed you off that that's all she had to say? Really!
Quote:
I'm in a funk right now, feeling a bit ANGRY! Felling like why should i do this? gRanted I love her alot, but maybe I should maybe look at something else.
Do you think God would answer your prayer after you having this attitude? Admit it, you used it just like a charm piece. Even if your heart was right when you prayed, I think you could say you kind of messed up. Get your own heart right, and then leave her to get her heart right with God. You can't pressure her like you did. You can pray for her, privately, but don't turn around and tell her. (More pressure). Then rest in the Lord. Keep your own heart and life clean, do what is right unto the Lord, and leave the rest up to Him. Let Him impress her heart. He doesn't have to have you to do it for Him.
In true faith, you would not have these kind of feelings, b/c you would be depending on what God could do, instead of what you can do. You would not react negatively when things do 't go like you wanted it. Who knows, maybe God is allowing you to learn a lesson here?
Please don't see my words as judgmental, but hopefully, as another Christian trying to help you learn and grow. ((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
