Wayward Wife, my addiction, advice needed

[trumpet]

Wife did cancel the training in Chicago, and rescheduled in Milwaukee, which means it's just an hour there and an hour back, so no overnight. I think she did it for me, but she never said it, and just sent me an email with the hotel cancellation, saying 'for what it's worth'.

Last night, we might have had a step forward. After supper, which she made for the kids, and there was a little left for me (she's not a good cook, and never makes supper for me in our 15 years of marriage), I ate, and then she talked for a few minutes, asking me if I responded to our counselor/pastor's invitation to meet again on Friday this week. I said I did reply, and would be willing to meet, but now I'm really thinking that I don't want to meet up with him anymore.

This threw her for a loop. I simply explained my boundary again -"I will not live in an open marriage". This statement was followed by, "If you can't make the commitment to breaking off all conversation with OM, I feel like we're wasting our pastor's time, as well as our own'. I then left the room, and went downstairs. I've been sleeping outside the bedroom, as the pastor mentioned it's probably a good thing to stay apart for a while.

I hear you saying to me - but SHE's the one who cheated - you should kick her out of the bedroom. Yes, I agree, but with my addiction, we both technically 'cheated', and so I'm more forgiving on this point, and I'm fine sleeping anywhere. It's a stickler for her, which is contrary to most EA/PA's. Plus, when the dog whimpers in the morning, she has to take him out, as he's crated in our MBR.

Tomorrow will be the first time that she will be alone, without me or the kids, as I pick them up from her parent's place mid-day and spend Thanksgiving with my parents, without her. I think, I hope, that it serves as a wake-up call for her.

I'm happy to go to counseling, but the cold-turkey approach to ending the EA is a non-negotiable for me. It's the only way for her to start the grieving process, get over the EA, and start to heal our marriage.