So if there is no physical intimacy she is still thinking about OM?
Sorry if I implied that no physical intimacy meant she was still thinking about OM. Although, it can be a sign in some cases. It depends upon the individual woman.
Some women continue having sex with the H while they also have sex with the OM. But for the majority of the stories I've read, the desire for her H is gone......and won't return as long as she has OM in her thoughts. I think Hollywood has caused people to believe women can really love (sexual desire) two men at once. It makes a good story.
The feelings his W is referring to having for him is the desire for him. Women can only love one man at a time, although they may have sex with two men. Most women who have given their heart to OM, do not suddenly desire to have her H again, b/c women aren't like men in that respect. She will either connect emotionally with the man during sex, or she'll have the sex for some other reason (duty, pressure, expectations, etc.).
If the woman has had an EA/PA/IA, she won't emotionally connect with her H until she gets the OM out of her thoughts, and therefore won't experience desire (loving feelings) for her H. She has to get one man out of her emotional bed before she can let in another man, b/c for a woman, it involves her emotions. That's how women are wired. Yes, they can physically perform sex even if they aren't feeling anything for him, b/c she basically can just lay there, if nothing else. However, she will not experience those in-love feelings, just b/c she's having sex.
She may consent to engage (or not), b/c she's basically out to prove to her H that she no longer has feelings for him. Therefore, she can say that she tried, but it didn't work.
When a woman is serious about saving her M, she can't have this attitude of "seeing if I feel anything" b/c it's sure to fail. Other things have to take place first. It takes time for her to get over one man and start having desirous feelings for another. Again, maybe this is difficult four men to understand, IDK. I wish I could explain it better.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
