Wayward Wife, my addiction, advice needed

[gs9]

Trumpet,
I'm sorry you're have found yourself in this sitch but happy you found this forum. Sandi and the other vets are great resources so post often and pay close attention to their advice.

The fact that your wife is going to counseling is very encouraging but don't forget you can't believe anything she says and only half of what she does.

How long is too long to wait for her to 'figure it out'?

If I understand things correctly we can't put time frames on our WW's. Our timeframes are much different than theirs and we have to patient and consistent.

Do I let her blow it by meeting up with OM, and then drop the hammer?

This is going to be hard. Is there anyway she can cancel the trip or you can go with her? Ultimately she's going to need to regain your trust and work hard to do so but if I read your updates correctly she hasn't even broke off the EA yet?